I was reading the subtitle of my blog and realized that it needs to change. It says "happy" it should say "joyful". I know that I will not always be happy. I'm not sure why I even used that term, but I can be joyful. Right now I am sad. As most of you know I lost my mother last week, and my life changed forever. I feel so lost at times, and can't imagine how my dad feels. Despite this horrible time in my life, I have found that serving God pays. The family of God has been so good to us and so concerned for us. I have learned so much about what it means to have someone that helps to bear your burdens. If it hadn't been for so many people praying for us I'm not sure how we would have made it.
I know that I have a long road of somber holidays, little moments that I would love to share with my mom, and a wedding that she was so looking forward to planning for me. But as I do I know that God has the grace and strength that I need to go through these events with a quiet peace that He is carrying me through. I needed to write this down so that I will remember this in the days to come. There are moments that I am fine, I feel strong. The very next moment I feel so weak and I'm not sure that I can go on.
Sorry that I sound disjointed, frankly, that is how I feel. I am hoping to blog a little bit more. But I know that I always make that promise.
